We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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