i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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