I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
