the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i love accidental penises.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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