is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
