I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
