So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize