Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize