I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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