I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
