My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
