i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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