she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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