I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
