I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
