Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
