Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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