There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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