Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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