Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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