first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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