sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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