I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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