More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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