shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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