somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
