I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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