Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
