you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Drake has all the answers
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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