bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
