bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
