I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
