I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
