oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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