i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
