What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together