You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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