elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?