You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
