this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
