New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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