batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
