So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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