Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize