I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How's work?
Spinning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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