Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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