Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
