Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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