Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
