she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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