Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
