Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
