Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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