FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
