on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
