babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
