how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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