an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
