you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
