3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
