eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
